Thriving as an introvert in a world of extroverts

Extroversion is often considered the norm in financial services. The ability to charm clients with effortless charisma can sometimes overshadow the quieter, introspective approach. However, Tommy Khoerniawan’s journey from being an introverted software engineer to achieving seven years of MDRT membership and one Court of the Table has taught him success knows no boundaries of personality type. He shares insights and lessons from his personal journey, hoping to inspire fellow financial advisors, particularly those who, like him, tend to be more introverted in nature. 

 

The RAISE framework 

Throughout the years, Khoerniawan has implemented a unique framework in his practice, which has helped him achieve goals he did not even dare dream of in the past. 

 

R: Resourceful 

The first component of the RAISE framework is being resourceful. As Khoerniawan explains, "Most of us tend to stop trying after we encounter a roadblock. We tell ourselves it's okay; that we've tried, and it can't be done, or that we've already tried our best. However, we fail to realize that there are other ways to achieve our goals." He was faced with this challenge when his father passed away in Indonesia during the COVID-19 pandemic. Despite the daunting obstacles, such as navigating tricky visa requirements and unprecedented travel restrictions, Khoerniawan persisted, driven by his love for his father. As he puts it, "Through perseverance, we honored him with the farewell he deserved, teaching me the invaluable lesson of resilience and resourcefulness." 

This experience inspired Khoerniawan to push boundaries and excel in his work, finding solutions to tough situations where it seemed impossible to proceed. He shares, "Whether facing challenges in achieving my weekly goals or balancing care for my mother, I've learned to navigate difficulties with resourcefulness and determination. In the past, I might have given up and sought the easy way out. But with resourcefulness, I always strive to find win-win-win situations, guided by my mantra: 'What else can I do?'"  

This mindset has helped him overcome seemingly insurmountable obstacles, such as when one of his clients was in a coma. Despite the existing attending doctor expressing little hope for his client, Khoerniawan sought second opinions from multiple neurosurgeons. One specialist agreed to take on the case. This proactive approach proved beneficial when the client regained consciousness shortly after receiving the new treatment. This outcome highlights the value of Khoerniawan's persistent advocacy for his clients' well-being. 

 

A: Amplify strengths 

In addition to being resourceful, Khoerniawan believes in the importance of amplifying one’s strengths.  

When he first entered the financial services profession years ago, he faced skepticism and doubt, even from within his own family. "As an introvert and foreigner in Singapore with no sales experience or network, and faced with some language barriers, the odds seemed stacked against me," he shares. However, he chose to focus on his strengths, rather than feeling insufficient or incapable of success. He explains, "I told myself that I was good enough and sufficient with my current strengths, and I’ve achieved my goals that I set. So, I began to focus on amplifying my strengths, such as listening skills and asking the right questions, since I recognized that speaking wasn't my forte." 

Rather than relying on traditional prospecting methods like participating in promotional roadshows, which were hard for him to excel in, Khoerniawan focused his efforts on educating others about financial planning through his digital platforms. For example, he creates simple infographics to explain complex financial concepts and documents his journey as an advisor to build his personal brand. 

“I always encourage my friends and mentees to amplify their strengths in the early part of their careers, rather than investing a lot of energy in improving their weaknesses,” he adds. 

 

I: Improve weaknesses and continue learning 

While Khoerniawan emphasizes the importance of amplifying strengths, he also acknowledges the need to improve weaknesses and continue learning. As he explains, "This might seem contrary to my previous point, but when we aim to reach the next level, we must address our weaknesses, especially if they are critical blind spots or essential skills we need to acquire." Recognizing the importance of public speaking and effective communication, Khoerniawan has been working on enhancing these skills. He shares, "I am continuously working on improving my public speaking skills to reach more people and create a greater impact. I've also enhanced my communication skills by understanding DISC profiles, which has been incredibly helpful." By tailoring his approach based on his clients' DISC profiles, Khoerniawan has been able to better connect with and serve his clients. 

For instance, he provides detailed explanations and highlights key points for 'C' profile clients. He also uses the profile to gauge how long to engage in small talk. With 'I' profiles, he typically allows them to speak more freely. For 'S' profiles, he asks more questions about them and their loved ones, whereas 'C' profiles often prefer brief conversations before discussing business, based on his experiences. By understanding their profiles, he can better anticipate their thought processes and adjust his communication style accordingly. 

 

S: Seek mentorship, find Mentors or become a mentor) 

Seeking mentorship has also been a crucial aspect of Khoerniawan's framework. He notes, " Throughout my career journey, I have been fortunate to have a few mentors who have guided me along the way. Without their support, I would not have stayed in this industry or achieved my Court of the Table. My mentors helped me identify my blind spots, believed in me and my goals, and kept me accountable." His mentors have provided invaluable guidance as he recounts, “I recall a time when I was so burned out that I nearly fell asleep while driving. My mentor stepped in, advised me on time management, and emphasized the importance of self-care and enjoying the process.”  

He also believes in being a mentor himself, as he explains, "By mentoring others, you continue to learn and grow, and sometimes your mentee may offer different perspectives, experiences, and knowledge which you can benefit from." 

 

E: Exciting Goals (or Non-Negotiable Goals) 

Lastly, Khoerniawan emphasizes the importance of setting exciting and non-negotiable goals. As he states, "Essential goals are important things that you want to achieve. They must be exciting and scary at the same time, but these goals must be non-negotiable and not just 'good to have' or 'I will try my best.'" Khoerniawan has pushed himself to achieve remarkable goals, such as moving to Singapore before securing a job and buying his first property when he was still short on the down payment. He believes in making these goals happen, rather than simply trying his best; and one way to do so is by simply breaking down these big goals into more manageable ones, such as monthly, weekly, and daily goals. 

In addition to the RAISE framework, Khoerniawan highlights the importance of the MDRT Whole Person concept, particularly focusing on health. He shares a personal experience that underscores this point: "I learned this the hard way when I had a heart attack at 33 because I was too focused on work and not looking after myself." This experience led him to recognize that good health is fundamental to professional success and personal fulfillment. Khoerniawan explains, "Good health is really important because without it, we can't do our jobs well or live long enough to enjoy life and take care of our clients."   

By implementing better time management strategies and using this framework he devised as the foundation of his practice, he was able to prioritize his health while simultaneously achieving his MDRT and Court of the Table goals.  

 

Contact: MDRTeditorial@teamlewis.com